I Can be Distressed or I Can Practice Acceptance

My partner and our daughter (27 years old) left  yesterday to go to Disneyland. They haven’t been for more than 10 years and this is kind of the trip of a lifetime for them to share as adults. They both really enjoy Disneyland, while I don’t as going on rides is just too stressful and causes too much pain for me.  I stayed behind to take care of our daughter’s cats and my dog. I had to rent a car in order to do this. It’s a wonderful car with leather seats, electronic starter ignition, and well I was thinking that I might take a small road trip over to the beach. Instead this week is going to be filled with more rain. We all know what weather changes bring, pain.

I could feel very upset about this development. And I do feel a little bit sad, I also feel a little upset about renting a car and not using it.  This is a perfect time to try and practice what I’ve learned in the past; in the winter I have more pain and there’s no point in getting upset about it. That doesn’t mean I don’t get upset , I do, but dwelling on that feeling is not helpful when you’re in so much pain you can’t get out of bed. So while they’re in Disneyland my Rent-A-Car will sit outside and look beautiful and I will remain cozy with blankets and the cats and dog inside watching marathon episodes of who knows what on cable TV. It’s a perfect time to begin to process acceptance as winter is here and it will only get more brutal.

I’m sure there’s other peers of mine out there practicing the same thing today, so let’s all practice together.

PS, I used text to talk for this blog so forgive any errors. Have a great week and I’ll get back to you later, dear blog.






New Research using FMRI to “View” Brain Functions in Fibromyalgia Patients May Hold Hope for Future Treatment and Diagnosis

A respected fellow blogger posted this study today. I read through it,  having a background in reading research studies, I found this one to contain some real merit. There is still much more to study; this is sound imagery, seemingly combined with sound testing to achieve the results, however, it is a first step in many needed to actually assist us chronic pain peers at the doctors office.

I don’t have full access to this journal study in “Pain” and would feel more hope for future medical help if I knew the exact procedures used, duration, and patients symptoms combined with length of suffering. That stated, I in no way feel the research should be discounted, it should be used as the building block for continued tracking of our brain and central nervous system signals.

How the medical community will apply these findings to our treatment remains a huge unknown as well. But, a first step is always better then not stepping!

With Hope Today,


Sharing a Link to Research on the use of Complimentary Medicine

Hello Peers,

I receive email updates to the work of the “National Center for Integrative and Complimentary Research”. Their research usually relates to us, chronic pain suffers.  This one is interesting, but leaves a large question that should be answered, “what do we use them for?”. Emotional health, social health? In my experience all the peers who use these methods use them to help relieve their levels of pain. Anyone have another answer?



How Blogging for my Peers Assists Me

Good Afternoon Peers,

Its time for me to thank my Peers who read my posts. One year ago, I began this site. I was still struggling mightily with cognitive issues, from a rear end accident I experienced while stopped at a red light, three years past. I was not able to write a six page post without spending almost three hours figuring out context, spelling, and connection throughout the post. In looking back at the beginning of this blog, I find many spelling errors and dropped thoughts despite the careful scrutiny I used.  I desperately needed both a way to use my MSW degree and feel some sense of purpose.  This small blog gave me that positive purpose. It wouldn’t have happened without all of you.

I am better now, but not well. Along with increased areas of constant increased Fibro pain, I am struggling with PTSD. I have memory deficiencies and problems with executive functions. Critical thinking. This blog and therapy literally keep me on track in trying to both remember and apply my personal toolkit. Which is not to say I am able to use them as well as I did in the near past. I remain hopeful that in discussing my personal and professional positivity paths, some of them will stay in my daily use again. Maybe one day they will stay in mind all week, even all month.

While I know that I can still offer this, even teach these positive ADL’s, I do not know  how realistic my goals for myself are anymore.  I do know that without writing them down, without researching them, and without bringing them back to the forefront of my cognition, I would remain lost in negativity. I am enormously pleased that some of my peers have found issues they relate to, and others, new tools to help them get through their chronic pain!

Despite my new chronic medical issues, this site will always be a happy place for me to take my time and thoughtfully share with all of you.


Saturday Night, Live.

I love this perspective! She has written so simply yet eloquently about all the positive thought processes I blog about!
Thank you Mary,


It’s 10:21 on a Saturday night, and I feel happy to say I’ve progressed beyond feeling sad about not being somewhere else, somewhere interesting; a party, an event, socializing anyway. I am simply here, home, Monty nursing a busted paw and me trying to avoid the cold most of my family has succumbed to. There was a time not so long ago where being alone at this moment would have a certain angst to it, some restlessness that I should be out, I should be doing something. And I can’t say that struggle is completely over, because it’s not. Not having daily expectations and tasks is oddly work in itself, at least psychologically, if not just a certain re-education of everything I’ve learned about what it means to be important, what it takes to matter. I am still learning those ropes and how to keep a solid hold on my psyche…

View original post 1,199 more words

Change in Weather, it’s Fall, Here Comes the Rain and Wind; Adjusting My Goals

Well it’s the time of year I always try not to think about. The temperatures drop, the wind sneaks under my jacket, and water flows from the dark clouds as the barometric pressure drops. Despite keeping up my positive expectations for my life with fibro, the start of this change in our weather patterns brings a sense of fear in. Each year I believe I will do better when it hits, and each year I learn again that this is simply not how my body reacts.

While my body reacts with an increase in my pain levels, my mind  begins the internal struggle of acceptance. I find my thoughts at war.  The flares of pain put me back in bed making one part of my emotions lean towards hopeless. The mindful self jumps in and begins planning how to accept living well doing less. It’s interesting to observe.

I know my friends and family probably feel that I should be used to these increased pain changes and continue to get on with life. I could buy into this belief and get upset with myself, but to what end goal? Being angry at myself only serves to increase my pain by creating additional emotional stress.

Today I am in bed. I am observing these thoughts right now. I am not angry at my pain. Disappointed, yes. Tomorrow I will regroup my plans for my expectations of how much and where I can work, do household chores, and continue my exercise routine (one I just created). Today, I accept the need for rest.

Follow up to Blog on FDA Ban of Kratom

I got this news, from a FB site I find very useful, today; Important enough to pass on.


BREAKING NEWS: The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) has announced that a ban on Kratom will now NOT go into effect today as planned.

Fibromyalgia Awareness, Facebook