The Feeling Your Body has Betrayed you; losing control. (Blog Post inspired by “dearlilyjune”)

Great, Simple Diagram of the Stages of Grief

Hello Fibromyalgia Peers,

Yesterday, I shared a blog repost from dearlilyjune. It was a inspirational story of forgiving her body for various, upsetting and societal stigmatizing medical syndromes. It punched me in the stomach with the realities of how hard it was for me to accept living with a chronic pain syndrome. I definitely felt out of control of not only my own body, but, my own life!

I spoke about the five stages of grief in my very first blog. My first reaction was anger and denial. True story; when a Physiatrist finally told me my diagnosis I demanded that he not write that in my medical chart. Why? Because it meant I had lost the battle to find a cure. At least that was what I felt then. Honestly, I still feel that way several times a year, this, after 16 years of living well with this syndrome. The difference today is I learned that I do have some control.

I make choices to pay attention to health, my actions, my emotions and my relationships. I chose, most days, to live according to my developed “Living Well Plan.” There are Wellness plans books available. There are books on Fibromyalgia and advice on how to live well. There are dozens of research and information sites available to us Fibro Peers. What there is not available is our own chosen plan. I advocate that each of us explore these varying avenues and find the Well Living Plan that fits into our individual lives. As I blogged before, there are common symptoms across the board for us all. There are also our own specific issues.

These specific issues may be symptoms, they may be other medical syndromes one has in addition to Fibro and they can be the lives we each live that create certain needs different from another Peer. The one bond we all have is that we must work through the five stages of grief in order to begin to truly create our Living Well Plan. This is not a overnight process and with most Peers it will cycle through various stages throughout our lives. The good news is that once you deal with it the first time, the second and tenth time, it you understand what is going on mentally. You become equipped to understand it and walk through it with grace. Just like dearlilyjune has been able to accept that despite not being able to control what happens to one’s body, we, as Fibro Peers can forgive our own bodies and live Well.

Lucinda, Fibromyalgia Peer Advocate/Life Coach Advisor


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