Over-Sharing our Pain and the Life Style Changes of Fibromyalgia with Others


It’s time to talk about the thorny problem of how to share what we need without over-sharing. This is a thin line when we live with Fibromyalgia. We need to communicate what is happening to our bodies and minds with our loved ones, our family, and our work. The tough decision is when to not share it.

I am a person who has always been a talker, or, verbacious.  This was added to when I went through therapy in my early adult life, and was taught to always share what I felt, what I needed, and what I did not allow into my life. Later on, I had my daughter. I spent a lot of time being verbal with her from an early age, believing she would learn better if I did not treat her as non-intelligent; it worked, helping her brain make connections faster. Last, but not least, my medications for pain have a side effect that causes me to not filter myself very well.

Then there is my last few years of decreased health, this is not helping my credo to inform others of my state of being, well or not doing well today then moving on, or my sharing about what my chronic pain “is”. It has become very redundant, even for my personality type. I took a step back a few days ago and listened to myself from the perspective of other people in my life. Their view is correct, I need to stop informing them of the same aches and problems every day. However, I do need to continue telling them when I am doing really bad and explain what I need in that moment. What I don’t need, and they don’t need either, is a stream of dialogue that is negative.

I post about positive thinking, humor, and how it affects our serotonin levels; which helps our pain  to decrease. I understood this for most of the 16 years I have survived well with Fibromyalgia. I lost it two years ago and it is now a very bad habit. I am posting this as I know I am not the only one, new or mature survivor, trying to live Well with chronic pain, to spend the day focusing on all our aches and emotional upheavals that go with it.

It is time to refocus on the world of wonder out there, just beyond my own body. It is time to look up at the sky and marvel at the sky and the cloud patterns. Stop and smell the flowers, really look at their different colors. Watch the leaves as they shed their summer glow and fall to the ground. This will not happen overnight. It is like everything else that I try to advocate for us Peers; it will be a process. This process is one I intend to win.


Lucinda Tart, Fibromyalgia Peer Advocate/Life Skills Couch


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