Letter to Fibromyalgia, my Life Partner, This is What I Need so I that I can Live a Better Life With You

Hello Life Partner,

I am told you are called Fibromyalgia. I prefer to call you Ball n Chain. We have been joined together for many years now, and I am sorry to tell you, I just don’t think it’s going very well. I know what your going to say, you’re not leaving me, no matter what I do. Knowing your responses to our relationship as well as I do, I am going to insist on needing these items so that as we continue to live together, it will become a healthier partnership.

We need new items in our home to keep it from falling apart.  One very important appliance we need is a dishwasher. Afterall, you never wash dishes. I can’t clean them every day so they pile up , then the repetitive hand and arm movements wear me out. This creates our problem of always having dishes in the sink, instead of in the drawers and cupboards ready to use. I don’t feel like it is asking too much to have a clean plate and a clean sink, do you?

Please understand that a washer and dryer is a must. I need to emphasize that if you want clean clothes, I have to wash them in small batches. I don’t want to hear about the drought every time I use a few gallons to wash the clothes. It doesn’t waste anymore water than doing large loads.

I need everything put back in its place, every single time or our items will start getting lost. The house will become one big cluttered pile of what-nots. While we are on the subject of items, can we just get rid of half of them? They just collect dust. I know, I know, you won’t assist me in going through the stuff, lifting boxes, sorting, rearranging or driving the boxes to the thrift store. Since you are not going to help me, I need you to pay for a helper. Not later, right now. While I can keep up with the rest of our general household chores, I really need someone to come in and deep clean the house once a month. Whenever I scrub and rub, you yell at me and I am left feeling deep pain.

As  you insist on living with me and causing me pain, perhaps you would be so kind as to allow me some time off. I need weekly breaks from your issues! Maybe you could give me a few hours of freedom to go to a movie or seek social support. Ever since you moved in my friends have mostly vanished. You are toxic to relationships; I should know.

I need a healthier lifestyle. Would you like to do this with me? We would both feel so much better. Most of the time you take over every situation, just give me a little bit of control. I would greatly accept that. I understand that you get tired of my gripping at you, but you try to live with yourself and see how you react! Ball n Chain, I am not asking for very much, especially when you consider that I have given my whole life over to you. I realize you don’t spend much time listening to my side of the story, so, maybe just this once, you will.

Lucinda Tart, Fibromyalgia Peer Advocate/Life Skills Coach


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