Good Afternoon Peers,
I recently experienced a situation where a new friend appeared to me to be very compassionate, until they were not. I was shocked at the language that was used and felt very distressed by it. I was just discussing a neutral subject, at least that is what I thought at the time, and all of a sudden out came the claws of someone I had never seen before! I decided that for now, I need to protect myself and leave the entire budding relationship, alone.
I found out recently that in fact the person was experiencing their own compassion needs. But, did that give them the right to lash out at me? In my world of relationships, the answer is no. I am very undecided about if I will continue with this relationship as I believe simple communication is not that hard. If they were having a rough day of it, they could just say so.
This did bring up a good point for me to look at. Just as I have needs for care and compassion, so do my friends and family. I need to be involved in give and take in relationships and realize that people have their own lives. Now, I do realize this. But perhaps some people are not very good about telling others that they need care. Especially those who give and give.
It’s called “compassion fatigue” in professional helping careers, and, I will use it to explain friends and family who are constantly giving but not allowing the receiving. This post is a word of caution about fatigue and relationships. I intend to be more careful about who I let in that is giving to me, caring for me, and aiding in compassion. And, in return, I will remember to never take those who give to me for granted. I hope that those who are near and dear to me will always tell me when they have a need or if they need to take some time to themselves.
Until tomorrow, kind hopes.