I Can be Distressed or I Can Practice Acceptance

My partner and our daughter (27 years old) left  yesterday to go to Disneyland. They haven’t been for more than 10 years and this is kind of the trip of a lifetime for them to share as adults. They both really enjoy Disneyland, while I don’t as going on rides is just too stressful and causes too much pain for me.  I stayed behind to take care of our daughter’s cats and my dog. I had to rent a car in order to do this. It’s a wonderful car with leather seats, electronic starter ignition, and well I was thinking that I might take a small road trip over to the beach. Instead this week is going to be filled with more rain. We all know what weather changes bring, pain.

I could feel very upset about this development. And I do feel a little bit sad, I also feel a little upset about renting a car and not using it.  This is a perfect time to try and practice what I’ve learned in the past; in the winter I have more pain and there’s no point in getting upset about it. That doesn’t mean I don’t get upset , I do, but dwelling on that feeling is not helpful when you’re in so much pain you can’t get out of bed. So while they’re in Disneyland my Rent-A-Car will sit outside and look beautiful and I will remain cozy with blankets and the cats and dog inside watching marathon episodes of who knows what on cable TV. It’s a perfect time to begin to process acceptance as winter is here and it will only get more brutal.

I’m sure there’s other peers of mine out there practicing the same thing today, so let’s all practice together.

PS, I used text to talk for this blog so forgive any errors. Have a great week and I’ll get back to you later, dear blog.

 

 

 

 

 

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New Research using FMRI to “View” Brain Functions in Fibromyalgia Patients May Hold Hope for Future Treatment and Diagnosis

A respected fellow blogger posted this study today. I read through it,  having a background in reading research studies, I found this one to contain some real merit. There is still much more to study; this is sound imagery, seemingly combined with sound testing to achieve the results, however, it is a first step in many needed to actually assist us chronic pain peers at the doctors office.

I don’t have full access to this journal study in “Pain” and would feel more hope for future medical help if I knew the exact procedures used, duration, and patients symptoms combined with length of suffering. That stated, I in no way feel the research should be discounted, it should be used as the building block for continued tracking of our brain and central nervous system signals.

How the medical community will apply these findings to our treatment remains a huge unknown as well. But, a first step is always better then not stepping!

With Hope Today,

http://www.neuroscientistnews.com/clinical-updates/neural-signature-fibromyalgia-may-aid-diagnosis-treatment

Sharing a Link to Research on the use of Complimentary Medicine

Hello Peers,

I receive email updates to the work of the “National Center for Integrative and Complimentary Research”. Their research usually relates to us, chronic pain suffers.  This one is interesting, but leaves a large question that should be answered, “what do we use them for?”. Emotional health, social health? In my experience all the peers who use these methods use them to help relieve their levels of pain. Anyone have another answer?

https://nccih.nih.gov/research/results/spotlight/us-musculoskeletal-pain-use

 

How Blogging for my Peers Assists Me

Good Afternoon Peers,

Its time for me to thank my Peers who read my posts. One year ago, I began this site. I was still struggling mightily with cognitive issues, from a rear end accident I experienced while stopped at a red light, three years past. I was not able to write a six page post without spending almost three hours figuring out context, spelling, and connection throughout the post. In looking back at the beginning of this blog, I find many spelling errors and dropped thoughts despite the careful scrutiny I used.  I desperately needed both a way to use my MSW degree and feel some sense of purpose.  This small blog gave me that positive purpose. It wouldn’t have happened without all of you.

I am better now, but not well. Along with increased areas of constant increased Fibro pain, I am struggling with PTSD. I have memory deficiencies and problems with executive functions. Critical thinking. This blog and therapy literally keep me on track in trying to both remember and apply my personal toolkit. Which is not to say I am able to use them as well as I did in the near past. I remain hopeful that in discussing my personal and professional positivity paths, some of them will stay in my daily use again. Maybe one day they will stay in mind all week, even all month.

While I know that I can still offer this, even teach these positive ADL’s, I do not know  how realistic my goals for myself are anymore.  I do know that without writing them down, without researching them, and without bringing them back to the forefront of my cognition, I would remain lost in negativity. I am enormously pleased that some of my peers have found issues they relate to, and others, new tools to help them get through their chronic pain!

Despite my new chronic medical issues, this site will always be a happy place for me to take my time and thoughtfully share with all of you.

XX😘

Saturday Night, Live.

I love this perspective! She has written so simply yet eloquently about all the positive thought processes I blog about!
Thank you Mary,
XX
Lucinda

FibroM.E.-Awesome

It’s 10:21 on a Saturday night, and I feel happy to say I’ve progressed beyond feeling sad about not being somewhere else, somewhere interesting; a party, an event, socializing anyway. I am simply here, home, Monty nursing a busted paw and me trying to avoid the cold most of my family has succumbed to. There was a time not so long ago where being alone at this moment would have a certain angst to it, some restlessness that I should be out, I should be doing something. And I can’t say that struggle is completely over, because it’s not. Not having daily expectations and tasks is oddly work in itself, at least psychologically, if not just a certain re-education of everything I’ve learned about what it means to be important, what it takes to matter. I am still learning those ropes and how to keep a solid hold on my psyche…

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Change in Weather, it’s Fall, Here Comes the Rain and Wind; Adjusting My Goals

Well it’s the time of year I always try not to think about. The temperatures drop, the wind sneaks under my jacket, and water flows from the dark clouds as the barometric pressure drops. Despite keeping up my positive expectations for my life with fibro, the start of this change in our weather patterns brings a sense of fear in. Each year I believe I will do better when it hits, and each year I learn again that this is simply not how my body reacts.

While my body reacts with an increase in my pain levels, my mind  begins the internal struggle of acceptance. I find my thoughts at war.  The flares of pain put me back in bed making one part of my emotions lean towards hopeless. The mindful self jumps in and begins planning how to accept living well doing less. It’s interesting to observe.

I know my friends and family probably feel that I should be used to these increased pain changes and continue to get on with life. I could buy into this belief and get upset with myself, but to what end goal? Being angry at myself only serves to increase my pain by creating additional emotional stress.

Today I am in bed. I am observing these thoughts right now. I am not angry at my pain. Disappointed, yes. Tomorrow I will regroup my plans for my expectations of how much and where I can work, do household chores, and continue my exercise routine (one I just created). Today, I accept the need for rest.

Follow up to Blog on FDA Ban of Kratom

I got this news, from a FB site I find very useful, today; Important enough to pass on.

Update:

BREAKING NEWS: The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) has announced that a ban on Kratom will now NOT go into effect today as planned.

Fibromyalgia Awareness, Facebook

The Brain and it’s Creation of Emotional Pathways

I am reblogging this piece today.  I researched this initially to try and assist my PTSD triggers that were weaving into my existing fibromyalgia thoughts. Just living with chronic pain creates many negative self thoughts, toss in the  loss of emotional control from the trauma of a car accident (or any other victim experience), and ones thoughts truly need to retrain to holding onto positive beliefs! Prior to my last three years living with extreme anxiety and depression, I understood that my past held some traumatic moments. But I did not replay these times in my daily life. I learned many years ago to live in the moment. Sometimes the moments were filled with emotions of anger and sadness at my suffering from chronic pain. I taught myself to let those thoughts go, to replace them with “doing the best I can today”, instead of “I am wasting all this time, why me?”.  After two years of living with pain I was able to accept my bad days and returned to College. I won’t say it was easy, I still had days that I could not complete an assignment, but I treated myself kindly.  I have been relearning this concept as I struggle with chronic pain and PTSD (and other physical limitations and pain that are related to the Rearend in 2013).  If I can change my inner dialogue, so can we all.

XX

Hello Peers, I have had to struggle with reacting since before living with Fibromyalgia. Lately, my reactions have become more intense. Without details, lots and lots of stressors/triggers, for too…

Source: The Brain and it’s Creation of Emotional Pathways

Begining to Retrain your Thoughts from Negative to Positive

Hello Peers, I stated in my post, about our need to know what items to bring with us in situations that arise unexpectedly, that I would add links above it. I was able to find a good link for basic…

Source: Begining to Retrain your Thoughts from Negative to Positive

Weight and Pain

http://www.arthritis.org/about-arthritis/types/fibromyalgia/articles/obesity-fibromyalgia.php

I recently wrote a blog piece about my lowered pain levels, or remission state, from my fibromyalgia pain. In that piece, I concluded that a year-long illness I went through, which resulted in a large weight loss was the contributing factor, so I have decided to follow it up with some actual research into this connection. And indeed, losing weight has had medical validity in pain intensity for many years now (see above link). My doctors always told me to lose weight, and to exercise. The discussion of  exercise also been a popular thread among my peers in online support rooms. Most stating it as helpful, if not with weight, at least with a healthier, happier state of mind.

I was always conflicted about this idea. I would come away from the doctors or the thread feeling shame and anger. It’s easy to tell someone with constant pain that they should get out there and walk, or swim, but it’s not so easy for that person to do. I know that just walking the dog could trigger pain for the entire next day; a very large price to pay! I want to interject here that while that is “not” occurring for me right now, it is apples to apples that it will start happening again soon (I have never experienced a remission of pain for this long, not in all my 17 years of living with fibromyalgia). Another point, in my current relief condition, is that I do still have medium pain every several days and a flare-up of pain large enough to send me to bed for the day every 7-9 days, so as I write this I am clear that this piece on weight and exercise applies to me as well as my peers. I felt shamed because I simply couldn’t create a routine of regular exercise, not with the pain threshold I live with. Anger followed because it was easier to project this feeling onto the doctors and my peers then it was to look deep inside myself and take personal responsibilty for my choices.

After losing all the weight and feeling the relief of waking up everyday at a pain level of 4 instead of the years of 5-6, I now feel ashamed that I didn’t try harder a long time ago. Lately I walk my dog farther every day then I did before, even when my pain level is at a raging 8. I make time to walk a slow three miles at least once a week. I am getting a donated recumbent exercise bike for the winter and will be applying for a low-income monthly membership to my local YMCA where I intend to use the swimming pool, take water aerobic classes, and indulge in some gentle and light weight lifting.  I am also looking into finding a free, local Tai Chi group.

I have not turned into an overnight super athlete, far from it. With the evidence of research and my own, personal experience it is obvious that the adage, “no pain, no gain” is true.  I certainly can not do all of these items weekly, but I can integrate them into an alternating monthly schedule. I will need to start slowly! My upper body is triggered very easily, simply driving the car for more than hour creates triggers in my shoulders, neck, and then head muscles (just typing this is aggravating my trapveious muscles). I am planning to begin exercising in chunks and in no more than 20 minute intervals. I will track what I actually do in my journal and then track how I feel immeaditely after, that night, and the next day. After a month or two of alternating exercising styles and journaling the resulting pain or no pain increase, I should be able to create a program that is tailored to my needs. Losing weight has definitely helped both my pain and my attitude, I am sure my seretonin levels are higher than they were, what a blessing it is for any of us to gain this important nuerotransmitter back. Despite the gift of this gain, losing so much weight has left me with wasted muscle mass (as we age we “useit or lose it”). I am keenly aware  that if I don’t start now, I may never start.

I try to share healthy, successful, positive living ideas in this blog. It would be hypocritical for me to share them and not live them myself. Besides, I love the hope of staying in a state of less pain! Try to find your weight loss path. Decide which exercise routine fits for you. Then, start tomorrow. XX