I Can be Distressed or I Can Practice Acceptance

My partner and our daughter (27 years old) left  yesterday to go to Disneyland. They haven’t been for more than 10 years and this is kind of the trip of a lifetime for them to share as adults. They both really enjoy Disneyland, while I don’t as going on rides is just too stressful and causes too much pain for me.  I stayed behind to take care of our daughter’s cats and my dog. I had to rent a car in order to do this. It’s a wonderful car with leather seats, electronic starter ignition, and well I was thinking that I might take a small road trip over to the beach. Instead this week is going to be filled with more rain. We all know what weather changes bring, pain.

I could feel very upset about this development. And I do feel a little bit sad, I also feel a little upset about renting a car and not using it.  This is a perfect time to try and practice what I’ve learned in the past; in the winter I have more pain and there’s no point in getting upset about it. That doesn’t mean I don’t get upset , I do, but dwelling on that feeling is not helpful when you’re in so much pain you can’t get out of bed. So while they’re in Disneyland my Rent-A-Car will sit outside and look beautiful and I will remain cozy with blankets and the cats and dog inside watching marathon episodes of who knows what on cable TV. It’s a perfect time to begin to process acceptance as winter is here and it will only get more brutal.

I’m sure there’s other peers of mine out there practicing the same thing today, so let’s all practice together.

PS, I used text to talk for this blog so forgive any errors. Have a great week and I’ll get back to you later, dear blog.







Flaring in Pain all Weekend

I spent both Saturday and Sunday in pain, and, in bed. The first increase in pain was due to lifting a box that was too heavy for me. I have not done this in a very long (knowing that it is not something I am capable of doing). I was a at a reuse store and ran into an old friend. In the midst of our talking excitedly, I forgot about my toolkit and lifted the box up to the counter, then out to the car where it was took a bit of awkward moving to get it into the back seat. Sure enough, the next day, Saturday, I woke up with a strained arm, shoulder, and neck. The pain then began to radiate up my neck. I tried to get up and move through it, but within 10 minutes I was back in bed. The next day, Sunday, the pain was worse as the rain moved in. I now was in a full flare; pain scale level about a 7 1/2. It finally calmed down about 5pm.

This was an angry and sad time for me. I tried to practice appectance but had to remind myself several times throughout the weekend. I was upset at myself for not practicing my toolkit rules. I also knew that this was a good preview of the El Nino weather coming up. I am sorry to say that accepting this is not easy for me. I have become used to being somewhat in charge of my pain.

I posted research right before this post, for my Peers as well as for a reminder to myself that I have to start these exercises now, before El Nino comes in.

Wishing all of you a pain-free, or less pain, this week.