During the last eight weeks I have experienced less pain than I have in years. In the 16+ years I have lived with fibromyalgia, this is only the second reduction in pain I have had the pleasure to be in. Despite many other medical issues during this time, emergency gall bladder surgery, stomach flu, the flu, and migraine headaches from my experience of being rear-ended, my chronic pain is at a low of 3-4 on the pain scale! Well, except for a once a week flare up of pain that keeps me bed ridden, but, hey I will take this exchange anytime!
I have been paying attention to the decrease in my normal achey body and wondering, why? Could it be that my gall bladder was taken out; that seems whacky as most fibromites experience surgery as exacerbating their pain levels (I have blogged about this before, explaining the need to discuss this phenomenon with doctors prior to surgery). I experienced this after my knee surgery two years, so that doesn’t feel right. Perhaps it is my mood, which has been better in general since my gall bladder surgery. Or, maybe it’s the fact that I lost an incredible amount of weight over the last year because I was so scared to eat anything! Let me explain this further; I was misdiagnosed with gastoparesis a year prior to the surgery, which led the doctors down the wrong road. Every time I went into the emergency room it was reinforced that my diet was causing the problem. The pain was off the charts and if it was caused by eating, then I wasn’t going to eat, at least not much! Definitely not the best way to lose weight.
Losing the weight finally allowed me to walk without a cane, to use the stairs with one leg at a time per stair, and to walk three miles at a time for the first time in three years. This leads me to think that possibly losing the pounds is the reason for less daily pain. I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter, 27 years ago. I never really lost that weight and gained a bit more over the years. Since my surgery I have been complaining of needing to buy a entire new wardrobe, two sizes or more, smaller than I previously wore. This has caused others in my life to politely ask me to stop whining as they are still trying lose their own weight, a reasonable request.
Still, it bothers me that I lost soo much weight so quickly; it can’t be healthy. However, if there has been two shining gifts from the loss; my usual 6+ daily pain (at least for now) and my ability to walk normally,and even drive my own car again. I thought I would never be able to do these things again. While I have decided that losing the pounds is the reason I am in remission, I am still caught in the thought process of fear that all chronic pain suffers seem to loop in. I find that I am frequently holding my breath for the other shoe to drop. The shoe of the fall and winter season. It’s glorious to be in less daily pain, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help noticing that the season is changing. I am doing fairly well at pushing the negative thought away by breathing in the freedoms I am experiencing. So, for today I will remember to use my positive tool of just breathing.